Dark Wolf In the Shadows of the Gaslight
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Are you trying to heal from a relationship with a narcissist, sociopath or psychopath?
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My First Blog of the Dark Wolf Series and Gaslight Groups Enterprise
June 10, 2023
My endeavor to heal and empower women who have suffered from abusive relationships, specifically those who have gone through a relationship with someone with Narcissism or Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) otherwise known as the term Sociopath or Psychopath.
As an intuitive empath, I seem to attract these individuals. I have spent the last 10 years in a relationship with Sociopath. He is an exquisite example as he exhibits behaviors of all types of narcissism, expertly delivered, you are mesmerized like following the Pied Piper. Diagnosed with ASPD and other mental and personality disorders, he was already charmed with special abilities to lie and deceive. In addition, he spent some years in prison where he read and studied on mind control, persuasion, power, control, etc. to master the ability into an art/science whatever, he is eloquent at conniving victims to his whims.
In my healing from this relationship, I have been studying and learning and trying many different things to put my heart and life back together. In this process, I realized there is really nothing out there for people like us, going through this type of situation. It is a different, specialized form of abuse that no one really understands unless you have been through it. I hope to help people heal and be empowered!
I found groups where people could share stories and support each other but this actually made me worse in ways. The descriptions sounded like my experience. I'd end up down a rabbit hole investigating if it was him, my personal dark wolf. I learned I had to reprogram my brain from the programming he had done. I found that educating myself and really working on my self love and healing is what worked the best. Learning about me and to be me again, doing what I wanted and aspired to was most important to reach the best person I can be and my higher self.
I have been led to this all my life and have finally found a purpose to heal and for enduring all I have. I just hope to help others learn to create a beautiful life for themselves, love themselves and be educated for the future when dealing with these individuals no matter the circumstances or capacity of the relationship.
Charles Manson Comparison
Jun 11, 2023
I soak in a lot about psychology especially in relation to psychopathology. Not all sociopaths and psychopaths get their satisfaction from violence, they find their power and control in the form of sex, money, leadership, etc.
My personal experience is most closely related to that of Charles Manson, where the mind-control tactics, a form of grooming and brainwashing. The show Aquarius on Netflix displays this quite well. My narc, as will be referred to as the person with whom I had my relationship, has a similar experience. Where he had a domineering parent, only mother in this case, and so the anger is more toward women. Then the time in prison, obsession with sex, and the studying of mind control, persuasion, and manipulation tactics. He uses his skills more for personal gain to live freely. He will pretend to have relationships for a place to live, using vulnerable women to care for him while he doesn’t work and carries on with other women while they are working, always having that backup plan for when it blows up.
He lures you in with his intelligence and beautiful words, telling a story of a soldier and past family tragedy which is all untrue. He has an avid fantasy life of believing he is a Lycan and a stalker which he definitely practices. He emulates the devil often and uses music a lot to relay messages. He relates well also to Sneaky Pete in a show on Amazon. He uses BDSM as a way to gain control and have his freedom and triangulates usually with another woman or more to create the insecurity and want to hold on once he has you hooked. He is an excellent gaslighter, confusing your sense of intuition, thoughts and feelings so you let a lot go that you should trust.
I hope to help you identify these qualities. I am learning how important it is to create boundaries to love me and be me. To still live MY life and have MY sense of purpose in this world, not lose myself in someone else. Someone who truly loves will be empathetic and supportive to you being your best self. A narcissist will take you on a roller coaster ride of ups and downs as a manipulation so you depend on them completely for your own self approval. This is not okay!!!
Wishing you all well on your healing journey:)
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